The feminine life force energy, Shakti, sits within us in our lower belly at our sexual center. As we begin to awaken to this energy within our bodies, we awaken to our essence, or the natural flow of feminine energy. The natural flow of our energy is flexible!

The first secret in awakening to love for our bodies, sensuality and beautiful femininity is awakening to our inherent nature to adapt, constantly change, dance and invite in flexibility into our lives.

When we say flexibility, it is flexibility of our body, mind, emotions and even the roles we play in life.   All of these are related; the more flexible our bodies are the more likely we will be flexible in our minds and emotions. We are likely to better maintain healthy relationships and intimate partnerships.  We are able to receive with ease and hold less tension and stress.

One of the most important ways, we as women, can begin to cultivate our flexibility is through dance and yoga, which are softer forms of engaging the physical body. Often times the modern gym workout is geared more towards building muscle and strength.  However, what is important to remember is that even as we engage in activities to become more physically flexible, it is important we keep flexible within our self with our attitude and internal state. For example, if you begin to put pressure and stress on yourself and feel a tightening to get to that yoga class, it is creating an internal tension that blocks a natural flow of flexibility.  So the key is to just breath, release into the need to DO in that moment and come within.

We can observe children and how flexible they are, in their bodies, in their attitudes, in their desires.  They have a deep ability to “go with the flow”.   Far too often we grow thinking that things have to go a certain way that we have to be a certain way and do things in a certain way and expect the same of others.

As women, when we begin to “hold on” to how things should be or go, we immediately block ourselves off from the natural flow of feminine energy WITHIN our own bodies, which is more free and fluid.  This can begin to impact our relationships with a partner as we can become uptight or tight-lipped, we can hold resentment and anger when things do not go our way and lose a general softness and receptivity that is not only our natural state, but also feels so much better.

One of the simplest ways we can begin to awaken to our fluid and flexible nature is to get out of our heads and into our breath and our hips!  Yes, ladies, into our hips. It is one of the most powerful places for us to reside in and live from.  Our wombs are literally the flower of our life, our golden nectar, the source of powerful wisdom and knowing.

Whenever, we feel a tightness developing within ourselves we can just take a simply deep breath starting from our lower belly and exhaling out.  The more we keep grounding into our wombs the more we will naturally awaken to and attune to its natural flow, which is the flexible feminine!

Go to Flexibility in the Hips to start a short practice now.

Reena Desai is a featured Love in Life Contributor and is a spiritual mentor, coach and visionary change agent. For more about her click here for her full bio and all of her articles!

Men have been on my mind a lot lately

I get the opportunity to witness and participate in all the stereotypes we impose on young children. I find myself hugging and talking softly to my daughter when she falls and telling my son that he’s ok when he gets hurt. Buying swords and Star Wars for Max and endless pairs of princess shoes for Remy.

So I see where it all begins. Woman are taught to talk things over and are comforted when they are hurt while Men are expected to just get over it. In my awareness of all this and being fully devoted to raising children that are confident and can express themselves freely and without fear, regardless of their gender, I have to work at it.

The first thing I wanted to do was to heal any stereotypes and judgments I had towards men. Starting with my father, I remember thinking my Dad was somewhat “weaker” than my mom. She seemed so capable and he seemed somewhat childish at times. She would lay his clothes out for him, remind him of peoples names and plead with him not to mention certain things that might embarrass her at dinner parties. Now don’t get me wrong, My Dad was and still is a terrific father. He was patient with me, took me to parks and would have gotten me the moon if I wanted him to but still My mom seemed to have it more together than he did.

When I got married I realized that I had some judgments still stuck in my craw. I found myself saying “he can’t ever find anything” “He never remembers anything,” “I can’t leave him alone with the baby” and “If he would only listen”.

I no longer wanted to live in this illusionary state of mind.

Here I am all about oneness and I am creating this huge separation between myself and my fellow humans who happen to be men. I had multiple reasons to look within, the most important being my Children, and wanting to heal any crap I had accumulated so I would not project it onto them.

With this newfound love and respect for men, I also started noticing how I was not understanding the men in my life.

Paying attention to the fact that my Dad probably had undiagnosed post traumatic stress syndrome from the horrors he witnessed in World War II and the fact that he never went to therapy to talk about seeing his father walk out on his family when he was 9 years old days after his 4 year old brother bled to death from tonsillitis. How unconscious had I been to his suffering?

Forgiving myself, I vowed to see with compassion all men everywhere. That meant when my girl friends came to me with situations relating to men I was going to shed some light on how their men might be feeling.

We live in a world today where paradigms are shifting and changing in ways never seen before. Men are no longer defined by money and power, the masks are falling off.

They are showing their vulnerability. They are showing up at lectures and support groups and are on the journey of self love.

They no longer want to be creatures from Mars. Most Men have proven that they see our worth, they know our strength as woman and they just want to love and be loved. It’s up to us as self aware woman to release the power struggle in our minds and view the men in our lives and the men we want in our lives as “Brothers” and as “Spiritual partners”.

We have come a long way as Woman and I am so grateful for the men who have supported our evolution.  If you are experiencing any challenges in your relationships with men I invite you to look within. Our thoughts attract our experiences, so lets see what lies beneath. In what ways have you separated yourself from the men in your life? Perhaps you have built them up in your mind and have given them your power and your voice.

Whatever story you have created you can recreate. Intention is everything.

My intention was to honor men and see them with the love and respect I have always held for Woman.

Steps to look at your “boylief”:

1.Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and think of your Father. Bring him to your mind’s eye and notice what comes up. How do you “see” him

Grab a journal and jot down some things that came up.

2. Now, Close your eyes again and think of another Male in your life. Welcome in whomever pops up. Ask yourself how you “see” them. Pop open your journal and write what comes up.

3. Now close your eyes and breath deeply and see yourself surrounded by men. Allow them all to show up in your mind and imagine lots of light all around you and them. Welcome them in and call on your guides and angels to extend love and remove any obstructions that may block you in anyway.  Allow the judgment to lift and feel your heart opening.

4. If you are in a relationship, Close your eyes and make the intention to be open and to understand your partner, with the same compassion as you might your best girl friend.

Feel your heart open and extend this love out to your partner and allow the love to pass back to you.

5. If you are looking for that wonderful Guy, Close your eyes and make the intention to flow love and compassion to every date, regardless if he is the “one” or not. Or Just the intention that everywhere you go you will silently bless everyone. Make it your dominant intent to look for and find value and light in all beings. Male and Female alike.

The purpose of this is to re-connect to the oneness. After I studied my belief system it was quite apparent that I needed to heal this separation I created in my mind. As I did this, my spirit strengthened and a peace came over me. I wish the same for you.

This article was written by Love In Life guest contributor Macha Einbender, for her bio and contact information please visit here.

1. Do you say yes when you really want to say no?

2. Do you apologize often? When you are actually not sorry? When you are angry as a way to diffuse and/or end an argument?

3. Do you avoid confrontation at all costs?

4. Do you put everyone else’s needs above your own?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you, my dear, have the disease to please.

A simple mindfulness exercise can be just the prescription!

For the next 48 hours, write down every time you commit any of the above actions. What was the scenario? Why did you respond the way you did? This requires you to not only be very aware of your words and actions but honest about your intentions. If you got into an argument, what was the argument, and were you truly sorry for your behavior or did you just want to get the other person off your back? Did someone ask a favor, what was it, and did you agree to do it because you genuinely wanted to or because you feel guilty saying no?

Are you discovering a pattern to your behavior?

When you do a deed out of guilt or avoid a sticky situation even though it needs to be addressed, you are being inauthentic and dishonest. These qualities cannot exist in truly loving relationships. How can anyone authentically love you if they do not authentically know you?

And you definitely deserve to be authentically loved ❤.

To love your life and to bring authentic love into it, you need to live your truth. Curing the Disease to Please is one step in a 6-step formula I created along with yoga psychologist Ashley Turner. Our 3-month group coaching breaks through the BS so you can get clear and confident on hearing and speaking your truth, which leads to more solid relationships in every aspect of your life – family, friends, and work.

Love Love Love
Terri

Terri Cole is a featured Love in Life contributor and founder of Live Fearless and Free, and is a licensed psychotherapist and an expert in transforming fear into freedom.For more about her click here for her full bio and all of her articles!

Ultimately there are two attitudes we can take in life: the attitude of a victim and that of a creator.

The victim cannot see beauty, abundance, or the inherent perfection of each moment because he has an idea of how things should be, an idea that has inevitably been violated, an idea that is at odds with what is. This sense of dissonance breeds anger — anger toward life, toward god — but it manifests in the victim as a passive, depressive heaviness, inertia, and seeming disinterest, appearing more like sadness than anger. Ultimately, it represents hatred of self, violence toward self. It is the ultimate rejection of what is: violence toward life.

The only way to break this pattern of victimization is by taking the role of the creator. Creators praise their creations; victims criticize. Creators live in appreciation; victims, in complaint, not taking responsibility. These are total opposites. Creators embrace whatever comes their way. They respond to everything with a yes, which enables them to live life in abundance. Victims, on the other hand, are resentful and negative. They cannot see life’s inherent perfection or beauty, because they have a rigid idea of how things should look. Shrouded in a cloak of seething passivity, this is the ultimate rage: it is the rejection of existence, the denial of what is.

Whenever I look at my life with a no, with a different idea of how things should be, I am rejecting life. Because I cannot control the game, I will not play. I cannot understand, so I will not accept. Such is the obsessive extremism of a fearful intellect; its complications suck all the joy out of life. Consciousness lives in the union of the heart. When you live from the heart, there are no questions. When you are the absolute, thedesperate need to understand disappears; it is engulfed by the pregnant joy of pure being. The heart wants for nothing more when it has found love.

How do I transform myself from a victim into a creator? By focusing on love-consciousness, on the silent depths that lie within us all, until I become the mind without thought. Why? There is no why. It just is. When you notice yourself resisting what is — thinking, something could be better in this moment or something is unjust — let go.

Remember that when you flow, when you surrender, you are being god. When you are fighting, you’re being a resentful child who won’t take responsibility. Nothing could ever be better in this moment, nothing is unjust, because god is everything; you are god within everything; god is joy; and it’s all your creation.

Freeing Yourself from Victimhood

Please understand I am not suggesting you intellectually convince yourself that you are not a victim. On the contrary, if you feel like a victim in any aspect of your life, allow yourself to feel it. Embrace your inner victim. Love your inner victim. You will not become free of it by rejecting or judging it. Feel the emotions your feeling of victimhood provokes: sadness, anger, resentment. Scream into a pillow. Cry. Beat on a mattress. Do whatever comes naturally. Embrace your inner victim, and you will soon learn to see through it. As you release these accumulated emotions, the attitude of the victim will lose its charge and soon disappear.

Releasing the Blame

Ultimately, being a creator means taking responsibility for your life. The victim sees responsibility as an uncomfortable concept, a chore: it is much easier to blame someone else for my discontent. Yet in reality it is not easier: it simply takes the decision to stop suffering out of your hands. Until you take responsibility for your own happiness, you are a slave of your surroundings. When you finally do, you find true freedom.

We usually think freedom means being allowed to do what we want and go where we choose. Yet this definition of freedom overlooks the fact that the person who controls and judges you the most is you. True freedom is not something that can be granted or taken away by another: only we have that power over ourselves.

Freedom is self-acceptance. It is allowing ourselves to be, letting go of the desperate need for approval that makes us adopt uncomfortable social norms in order to fit in. External approval will never be enough as long as we continue craving it, and this is true because of one simple truth: we do not approve of ourselves. Because of this, we try to get others to do it for us. But trying to substitute external approval for self-love is like turning up the television to drown out the cries of a baby — a distraction that does nothing to help the situation.

True freedom is freedom from victimhood. It is about taking responsibility for who you are, embracing who you are, and trusting in your own inner voice.

Excerpted from the book Love Has Wings: Free Yourself from Limiting Beliefs and Fall in Love with Life 2012 by Isha Judd. Printed with permission from New World Library.

Isha Judd is the author of Love Has Wings and Why Walk When You Can Fly. She travels the globe teaching a simple, yet powerful system that shows how to find the state of mind she calls “love-consciousness,” where every moment of life — even the most challenging and frustrating — can be filled with love, joy, peace, and self-acceptance. Visit her online at http://www.ishajudd.com.

Ever have nasty thoughts about someone else?

What many of us on a more conscious path have come to realize is that life is not happening to us, yet rather we are creating the life before us. We recognize that in every moment we have the opportunity to perceive with either love or fear. And that we, not other people (not even that b*tch), are responsible for our own thoughts and feelings. This is all helpful information and very easy to remember in the times when our life is going quite smoothly. However it is quickly and quite easily forgotten in the situations where our buttons are pushed and someone behaves in a way that we would otherwise consider inappropriate to say the least.

Yet the more we concentrate on, read about, meditate on and remember the Truth of our nature, that we indeed are 100% responsible for our life, the greater chance we have of standing in a state of grace, in those not so graceful moments. Perhaps one of the most helpful principals to remember, meditate on and become aware of is this, “ A negative thought does not hurt the person you are thinking about, it simply hurts you.”

A Course in Miracles teaches us that the spiritual seeker is generous out of self interest. It is in these moments, when we have such hate filled thoughts of another that we must come to recognize exactly what that means. It is in these mental patterns that we have shifted away from our natural thinking, the thinking of God, the thinking of love. And it is in these mental patterns that, if we go within, we deeply feel the pain and internal upset that our thoughts have generated in our bodies. The anger towards another, the frustration, the chaotic thoughts and scenario creations that are mind can take us to is astounding, and quite disturbing.

So it is when we practice these principals and move them from a logical idea in our mind to a knowingness within our heart that thoughts such as “Ugh She’s such a …”, lessen. It is when we practice these principals that we are able to stop these thoughts before they finish, acknowledge our feelings and quickly move beyond that which does not, and never will serve us.  It is when we practice these principals that we are truly able to shift the focus from “them” to us, and use our own energy to begin creating a life that we love, a life that we can share with others, a life filled with peace and joy.

To learn more please visit www.alifebeyondwords.com

Kelsea Brennan is a featured Love in Life contributor and daily motivator and inspiration to over hundreds of woman, Kelsea teaches that through love and faith you can change for your life for the better forever. For more about her click here for her full bio and all of her articles!