“Happiness” has become a big word in the past few years. Everyone is trying to be happy. Maybe it’s the economy, maybe it’s pop culture, maybe it’s a turning focal point of this globe… but everyone wants a bite of the big happy.

The problem is, a lot of people are going about finding happiness in a totally wrong way. People try and be happy as if they are going out to find it somewhere. As if it is a chest full of gold at the end of a treasure map full of obstacles, problems, and challenges. They will take any path to find it out there.

Boom. Problem: “Out there.”

Happiness is not found out there. It’s an inside treasure, where no instructions can really be effective in getting you there. Because you are only here. There is no “there.” There’s only “here.” Make sense?

When I was about 10 years old I received a big, heavy tile with the words ‘YOU ARE HERE” inscribed in it. At the time I thought, “random.” Now I think, “exactly.”

The search for happiness is not going to be solved by losing 10 pounds, by having an amazing wardrobe, by getting a handsome boyfriend, or by making a lot of money. If you go about being happy by checking off all the external things that you think encompass it, it’ll never be enough. Something will always need to be better. Nothing will ever be perfect. The pursuit of this alleged happiness will actually just be the root of your chronic unhappiness. You wait to live your life. If you wait to live you’re life, you aren’t really living it. And who is happy who isn’t living? You aren’t “here.” And if you aren’t “here,” you really aren’t anywhere, are you?

I finally became a very happy person when I took all of the pressure I had on myself to “be happy” and focused it on just being me. When I no longer waited around to be skinnier or have a boyfriend or get a raise… and decided to just do my best every day. Is my best always a pretty picture? Absolutely not. But I’m ok with that. Am I always in a great mood? Ask any of my friends and they will laugh in your face. Is my life perfect? Not usually, but I wouldn’t want to anyone else’s life.

What makes me a happy person is because I finally dropped all of the illusions of what I thought would get me there, and focused on making sure that I was ok with the here and now. I dropped the guidelines and daily, weekly, monthly plans on my crusade for the “best life ever” and just decided that my life was the best I could make it on a day to day basis. I don’t know what happiness looks like. I don’t have any directions to give anyone because we are all pretty different, and my happy life looks much different from anyone else. What is common for everyone though, what makes us all the same is the feeling of happiness. Which is a feeling of total self-acceptance and self-trust with each day. Because let’s face it, that random tile is right. You are here now, and the pursuit of anything else will just take you away from your life.

** This article was written by guest contributor Bevin Reilly, for her bio and contact information please visit http://yourbellalife.com/guest-contributors/

About the Author


This article was written by one of our awesome guest contributors. We love having new and inspiring voices on our site to help our readers Let Go and Live Big so we hope you enjoyed this guest post!

10 Responses to In Search Of Unhappiness
  1. What are great reminder to be happy with the here and now. Even knowing this stuff, it’s so important to remember daily that happiness is an inside job. It reminds me of something I’ve really put into practice lately on a larger scale which is “surrender”. When you ask that the will of a higher power be done in your life, you’re inviting happiness into your life too.

  2. Patricia Ottaviano July 10, 2011 at 7:43 PM Reply

    Thank you Bevin for such a great article! It’s true.. we should live in the present moment and stop focusing on the future. If we keep focusing on the future we won’t be able to be happy and take full advantage of our present moments. What an inspirational article!

  3. FANTASTIC article! This helped me as I continue on my journey to really appreciate everyday. The article was INSPIRING and beautifully written!

  4. Thank you for this Bevin! I really resonate with what you said about your life not being perfect, but you wouldn’t want to have anyone else’s life. That is so important to remember that it isn’t about perfection, but creating a life you love!

  5. Thank you so much for this article, it’s actually getting me thinking alot and I’m going to try attain the mindset of just focusing on being me, with all the highs and lows, rather than focus on trying to “obtain happiness”. Live in the present moment!
    Also, I was interested in the guest contributor, Bevin, and it seems she had a blog but it seems to not exist now. If you know if she has moved her blog elsewhere or so, please do tell!


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