Men have been on my mind a lot lately…definitely a funny thing to write given that I am happily married and the mother of two children, including, a son, but it keeps coming up.
I get the opportunity to witness and participate in all the stereotypes we impose on young children. I find myself hugging and talking softly to my daughter when she falls and telling my son that he’s ok when he gets hurt. Buying swords and Star Wars for Max and endless pairs of princess shoes for Remy.
So I see where it all begins. Woman are taught to talk things over and are comforted when they are hurt while Men are expected to just get over it. In my awareness of all this and being fully devoted to raising children that are confident and can express themselves freely and without fear, regardless of their gender, I have to work at it.
The first thing I wanted to do was to heal any stereotypes and judgments I had towards men. Starting with my father, I remember thinking my Dad was somewhat “weaker” than my mom. She seemed so capable and he seemed somewhat childish at times. She would lay his clothes out for him, remind him of peoples names and plead with him not to mention certain things that might embarrass her at dinner parties. Now don’t get me wrong, My Dad was and still is a terrific father. He was patient with me, took me to parks and would have gotten me the moon if I wanted him to but still My mom seemed to have it more together than he did.
When I got married I realized that I had some judgments still stuck in my craw. I found myself saying “he can’t ever find anything” “He never remembers anything,” “I can’t leave him alone with the baby” and “If he would only listen”.
I no longer wanted to live in this illusionary state of mind.
Here I am all about oneness and I am creating this huge separation between myself and my fellow humans who happen to be men. I had multiple reasons to look within, the most important being my Children, and wanting to heal any crap I had accumulated so I would not project it onto them.
With this newfound love and respect for men, I also started noticing how I was not understanding the men in my life.
Paying attention to the fact that my Dad probably had undiagnosed post traumatic stress syndrome from the horrors he witnessed in World War II and the fact that he never went to therapy to talk about seeing his father walk out on his family when he was 9 years old days after his 4 year old brother bled to death from tonsillitis. How unconscious had I been to his suffering?
Forgiving myself, I vowed to see with compassion all men everywhere. That meant when my girl friends came to me with situations relating to men I was going to shed some light on how their men might be feeling.
We live in a world today where paradigms are shifting and changing in ways never seen before. Men are no longer defined by money and power, the masks are falling off.
They are showing their vulnerability. They are showing up at lectures and support groups and are on the journey of self love.
They no longer want to be creatures from Mars. Most Men have proven that they see our worth, they know our strength as woman and they just want to love and be loved. It’s up to us as self aware woman to release the power struggle in our minds and view the men in our lives and the men we want in our lives as “Brothers” and as “Spiritual partners”.
We have come a long way as Woman and I am so grateful for the men who have supported our evolution. If you are experiencing any challenges in your relationships with men I invite you to look within. Our thoughts attract our experiences, so lets see what lies beneath. In what ways have you separated yourself from the men in your life? Perhaps you have built them up in your mind and have given them your power and your voice.
Whatever story you have created you can recreate. Intention is everything.
My intention was to honor men and see them with the love and respect I have always held for Woman.
Steps to look at your “boylief”:
1.Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and think of your Father. Bring him to your mind’s eye and notice what comes up. How do you “see” him
Grab a journal and jot down some things that came up.
2. Now, Close your eyes again and think of another Male in your life. Welcome in whomever pops up. Ask yourself how you “see” them. Pop open your journal and write what comes up.
3. Now close your eyes and breath deeply and see yourself surrounded by men. Allow them all to show up in your mind and imagine lots of light all around you and them. Welcome them in and call on your guides and angels to extend love and remove any obstructions that may block you in anyway. Allow the judgment to lift and feel your heart opening.
4. If you are in a relationship, Close your eyes and make the intention to be open and to understand your partner, with the same compassion as you might your best girl friend.
Feel your heart open and extend this love out to your partner and allow the love to pass back to you.
5. If you are looking for that wonderful Guy, Close your eyes and make the intention to flow love and compassion to every date, regardless if he is the “one” or not. Or Just the intention that everywhere you go you will silently bless everyone. Make it your dominant intent to look for and find value and light in all beings. Male and Female alike.
The purpose of this is to re-connect to the oneness. After I studied my belief system it was quite apparent that I needed to heal this separation I created in my mind. As I did this, my spirit strengthened and a peace came over me. I wish the same for you.
This article was written by guest contributor Macha Einbender. Macha is a teacher of Practical Spirituality and Meditation. She is an inspirational spiritual activist and specializes in helping people find the light within them by customizing spiritual practices for them via her new sitewww.spiritualmakeoverartist.com. She is certified in teaching Overcoming Negativity Addiction. Macha is also the co-host of www.blogtalkradio.com/Spiritualmakeoverartist which has been airing for 8 years. Her Passion is to connect and interview women on their spiritual journey. Her Interviews can be found exclusively on Gabrielle Bernstein’s website www.herfuture.com. She lives happily with her husband Harry who she knew would be the “one” at age 5 and her two very young and active small children. Her mission is to help everyone she can live a better, happier life and connect with love. Her Mentor is Oprah and God is her CEO!
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