Most women feel like making other female friends is virtually impossible. Somehow picking up a guy at a bar with an air of “wanna sleep with me?” is far less complicated than chatting up a fellow female at the coffee shop with the intention to grab tea or go for a walk the next day.
How did this attitude become so prevalent?
Through out our lives we’ve been able to make friends “by accident”. Through arranged play dates or living on the same block in elementary school, to being put in the same homeroom or having the same style of dress high school, to being in the same dorm or being on the same sports team in college, making friends hasn’t ever been something we really need to think about.
I recently moved from New York City, where I had a thriving and fun community, to San Francisco where I have one friend. Since I have my own business I knew that the only way to make friends was to put myself out there.
I was definitely out of my comfort zone, but I found that people were genuinely excited to make a new friend, and that making female friends, was actually a piece of cake.
Here’s what you can do to create an amazing community, whether youre a newbie or just looking to shake things up:
1. Ask all of the people you know if they have friends in your city that you think you’d like. This doesn’t just have to be close friends, really EVERYONE you know. Have that person do an email intro and email that person about getting tea.
2. Post on facebook. I posted on all of my personal pages and all of the active groups I’m in, “Hey! I just moved to SF and am looking to hang out with fun people, wanna get together? Email me.” I’ve had a ton of responses, a lot which are from women who also just moved from NYC.
3. Be friendly to all of the people you interact with. I asked the woman at my new fave clothing store about her life. Turns out she’s a personal stylist, she’s going to help me with my closet for free and we’ve hung out a bunch. I also found out my Spin instructor is a personal chef and also has her own business. We’re now in the same mastermind, running buddies and bar hopper babes.
4. If you’re better at hitting on dudes than picking up babes, try enlisting the same tactics, pick up lines! Try…
- Have you been here before? How’s the coffee/martini/cabernet/eggs benedict?
- I just LOVE your dress, where did you get it?
- Oh my god, you so familiar, did I just see you in the recent Vogue?
Get their number, and follow up asap to get together again.
Happy hunting! I mean…connecting.