As women, we tend to think that it’s our unhappiness with ourselves that will motivate us to make the changes needed to transform our health and our bodies. If we can be enough of a drill sergeant, then maybe we’ll actually get our act together and take control of our eating.

We wake up everyday telling ourselves that we’re fat, ugly, etc.

We stuff ourselves into jeans that don’t fit, because we don’t feel that we deserve a new pair, until we lose weight.

We get mad at our overeating and force ourselves onto strict, regimented plans, only to get even more upset with ourselves when we don’t have the willpower to continue.

I’m sure you’ve realized that this doesn’t work, but you continue on anyway. Perhaps you think that there’s something wrong with you, but I assure you there’s not. What’s wrong is that this lack of self-love is actually perpetuating the cycles that keep you stuck.

It feels counterintuitive, but only by shifting away from this place can we actually put an end to our overeating. It can be scary because we believe that if we were happy with where we were then we would become content, stagnant and never reach our goals. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Here’s why:

1. Your thoughts are creating your reality. Every time you call yourself fat or ugly you are praying to keep that perception of yourself. You’ll act in ways that keep yourself stuck right where you are, fulfilling that perception. On the other hand, inspired action, action that moves you closer to your goals, comes from a mind that is flowered with positive, encouraging thoughts.

Action: Start by becoming aware of how you talk to yourself on a daily basis. Awareness is the first step.

Once you become aware, then you can begin to change your thoughts. Every time you hear yourself say something negative about yourself or your body swap it out with an empowering thought. If you begin to say something about a particular body part (poor bellies get the brunt of it), send love to that body part.

Here’s an affirmation by Louise Hay to get you started:

I love myself;
therefore, I take loving care of my body.
I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages,
I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly
responds to me with vibrant health and energy.

2. What you resist, persists. Like our thoughts, our attention and focus are incredibly powerful in creating our reality. When we continually focus on what we don’t want, we keep getting more of what we don’t want.

Action: Rather than create a list of goals (ex. I want to lose 10 pounds), create a list of feelings you believe reaching those goals will bring you. Most women want to feel confident, sexy, powerful, strong, happy, and free.

Now, do whatever you have to do to immerse yourself in those feelings NOW. This puts an end to the “I’ll be happy when…..” syndrome and shifts your attention from what you don’t want to what you do want.

Wake up and tell yourself that you’re beautiful. Repeat Louise’s affirmation. Post notes all over your mirror if you have to.
Write your body a love note.
Wear clothes that make you feel damn good, and that most importantly, fit your unique body.
Go for a hike because you enjoy nature and it makes you feel strong.

By truly embodying those feelings you’ll begin to naturally act in ways that support them. Your urge to overeat will start to disappear.

3. When you assume that your appetite can’t be trusted and must be controlled you rely on willpower and portion control. This deprivation only makes you want to overeat more. You’re turning away from your body’s amazing internal wisdom. Trust your body. If you listen to it, it will never lead you astray.

Action: Start connecting with your body while you eat. Next time you eat, sit down and leave all of the distractions behind. Eat slowly, breath in between bites and enjoy your food. Feel your hunger level. How hungry are you really when you go to eat? When do you start feeling full? When you slow down, you’ll be able to hear these cues more clearly. Begin to rely on and trust them.

Respect your body for all that it does. It’s so wise and is always there to tell you exactly how much it wants, and of what.

I know these tips can seem completely foreign to you, and maybe even utterly crazy but I urge you to test them out and play with them a little. Have fun and maybe you’ll discover a new way of life!

This article was written by guest contributor Jackie Vecchio. Jackie Vecchio is a Holistic Health Coach and founder of Peace in Every Bite, where she helps women end the food insanity and make peace with themselves. Through her own struggle, she has discovered the path to freedom. Her passion and purpose is helping women do the same. To learn more about Jackie, visit www.jackievecchio.com.